I apologize in advance if I ramble and jumble things up a bit. I'm writing this right now in a state of shock, disbelief, and pretty heavy grief. I found out the other day that I'm positive for MTHFR mutation. I'm not entirely sure yet what all that entails, but I know it's a genetic condition where my body doesn't process folic acid like it should. It can cause all sorts of lovely things like stroke, repeated miscarriage, and Alzheimers, among others. There are treatments, and I started a couple of them on Monday. As if that weren't upsetting enough, today, I found out that 1 of 3 options is happening. 1) My body has been totally and completely lying to me the past couple weeks (including being 3 days late). 2) I'm about to lose baby #(at least)4 (maybe it was baby #6, or even more). 3) I've already lost the baby, and my body just hasn't fully realized it yet. Either way, looks like we still don't need to get a baby's room ready. I'm just heartbroken. I was SO sure. My body even managed to convince my husband this time (that's a first). Looks like the last 5 years of trying and praying for a baby aren't ending just yet. Trying so hard to not just give up. Prayers appreciated.
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September 2017
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